Friday, June 30, 2006

I'm gonna buy a blimp. I've got it all set up already. I know this guy named Benny who runs a blimping business in Europe and he's gonna fly one over here and park it in my driveway. I'll pay him $800 and then he'll fly back to Europe on this smaller blimp he has hidden inside the blimp he sold me.

I already know what I'm going to do first. Race a zeppelin. There's this old German guy who I'm pretty sure is a nazi that lives down the road and he has this massive menacing black zeppelin just sitting in his yard. And sometimes I see him sitting in it, and he stares at me, and sometimes I think he mouths 'fuck you' at me but it's hard to see. He is going down, because if the laws of physics teach us anything, it's that blimps are way faster than zeppelins, and that nazis never win.

I'm gonna cheat too. I got this huge long spear I'm gonna chuck at his zeppelin and it's gonna explode and he's gonna die and I'll win. It won't be murder, because I'll be killing a nazi, and those dudes are like #0 on the Top Wanted List. Unless he's not a nazi, in which case I'll be killing an old German man, and I will have earned the eternity of pitchforking and soulreaming I recieve in Hell. Unless God hates Germans and welcomes me with open arms into Heaven, but I think God's pretty cool with all races.

Bye for now.


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